Right After I Drain the Dragon

I was so happy this morning to run across a Google search in my referral log that brought me to this page. I think this story first appeared in the pages of Jersey Beat a few years back. I've been searching for a copy ever since. I've told most of my friends about it as an example of the many crazy stories I've heard about people pretending to be me. I am quite sure that those friends thought I was embellishing, exaggerating or flat out lying for comedic effect. As they'll see, the story in its original form is actually slightly more outrageous than the version I've been telling for the past few years. I hope the author - Denis Sheehan - won't mind me quoting it in full.

May 96’-This personal favorite took place at a bar in Burlington, Vermont. I was doing guitar work for a friend's band called Elbow Grease. I can’t play the guitar, but I sure can string one. About 45 minutes before they went on, I was at the bar unsuccessfully trying to pick up a chick. This guy wanders up next to me and introduces himself to the bartender as Ben Weasel. Being a Screeching Weasel fan, I looked up in a hurry. Now, I don’t know Ben Weasel and I’ve never even seen him, but this dude was not Ben Weasel. I don’t think Ben has tattoos covering both of his arms from wrist to shoulder. I also don’t think Ben has OZZY tattooed on his fingers. I decide to play with him. I start talking with him about how much I like the Boogada and Wiggle cds. I will admit he knew his Screeching Weasel, so he was a fan. As the rumor got around that Ben Weasel was in the club, people started to gather around. This guy was getting free beer and asked for his autograph. I couldn’t believe people were falling for this.

The time came for Elbow Grease to play. I went to the stage and hung out doing my job. About four songs into the set I explained to the band about the Ben Weasel impersonator. I had an idea. I took the mike and asked for everyone’s attention. I announced that Ben Weasel was here. Like it had been rehearsed, the joker stands on the bar and starts waving to the crowd. People applauded. I then invited “Ben” to come up and play Ashtray (off of Boogada) with the band. He yells “Most definitely. Right after I drain the dragon!” Yes, those were his exact words. He disappeared into the bathroom and I followed behind him. Sure enough, when I opened the door, “Ben” was trying to crawl out a small window. He couldn’t fit. When he exited the bathroom, Elbow’s lead singer Mike, announced to the crowd what was going on. This guy had to walk out of that bar with people covering him with beer and spit. He wasn’t happy. To this day I can’t figure out why so many people knew Ben Weasel enough to want his autograph, but not enough to know it really wasn’t Ben.